I enjoy writing silly short stories and meaningless blog posts.
Going Down the Rabbit Hole
When I made the leap into independence and moved into my own apartment back in 2016 I, like many others, made – do with what I had. My couch was a hand me down from a friend, complete with the cliche spring sticking out of the back, ready to snag an unsuspecting pants pocket at a moment’s notice. My knife block – complete with knives that my significant other regularly reminded me are rife with chips and duller than the block they came out of – were given to me by my sister. The mugs and cups...
Order
As you likely know if you watch a lot of Judge Judy or are a criminal, the unmistakable wood-on-wood clap that accompanies the pounding of a gavel is most often created with the intention of quieting a large crowd of unruly people, most often in a courtroom, as was the case today. Typically, it is successful. This was not the case today, despite the fact that the gentleman swinging the gavel was doing it quite ferociously.
Things often got unruly shortly before opening arguments kicked off, b...
eSports breeding new crop of ‘athletes’ in US
If you’ve ever been to a middle school debate class or the South, you’ve likely run into a classic “sport or not a sport” debate. The most prominent subjects of these debates are auto-racing, golf, cheerleading and, more recently, video games.
Yes, video games.
The nerds. The non-athletes. The ones who were beat up by the jocks in high school for not playing a sport. Now they’re taking over. Oh, how the tables have turned. Now, the kid who formerly ate alone— the one who’s unusu...
Defying Murphy's Law
Jon Shehan and the Marauders aren’t particularly familiar with the concepts of “losing streaks” or “sub .500 records.”
It’s not hard to see why—since the beginning of the 2013 season the Marauders have earned themselves an 83-36 record. When a team is winning 70 percent of the games they play, there just isn’t much time to spend dropping consecutive games and falling below .500. However, entering the weekend set with Pittsburg-Johnstown, the Marauders were just that.
“We didn’t ...
Marauders linebacker Reggie Slaton has sights set on professional football
“Growing up, I always wanted to be a professional athlete,” said Marauders inside linebacker Reggie Slaton. “I had the occasional thought of maybe being a cop or firefighter but the infatuation with being able to do what I love for a career took over being able to get paid for it would just be a bonus.”
However, for at least a few years, Reggie took a break from football.
“Reggie started playing football at the age of 5,” said Reggie’s mom, Carla. “He played up until the 5th gra...
Stoltzfus cousins hitting their stride for Marauders
When the Marauders walked away from Bloomsburg having swept the Huskies Monday, they had quite a few people to be thankful for. Chas McCormick teed off thrice in Monday’s double-header, giving him five for the year. It was McCormick’s 30th straight game reaching base. Dan Neff and Tyler Orris each reached base six times. Brandon Miller and Jim McDade both earned wins in their starts. Rounding out the list of top performers of not only the double-header against Bloom, but also th...
Under the Rug
To sweep something under the rug is a common expression meaning to hide something potentially damaging from view.
For Ben, the phrase was both literal and metaphorical. By the time he started cleaning his seventh or twelfth or fiftieth hotel room that afternoon, the disdain for his job growing with each, more and more frequently he opted to sweep the messes under the rug.
Arriving home, the 38-year-old shot a glance toward his mother—the owner of the ramshackle home—lying bloodied and motionl...
Swish
As is often the case in the great game of basketball, one look at the box score told the story of the night for Aaron Bud and the Los Angeles Lakers.
And while some stories are jovial in nature, light in tone and intended for young audiences, others are not. Some are darker, and should only be told to very brave, very mature adults. The story that the box score told on this evening falls into the latter of the two categories; a story of an aging former superstar and a team whose fanbase had b...
Five Signs You Live in Lancaster, Pennsylvania!
As fall begins to yield to the throes of winter, the time we spend outdoors grows smaller and smaller, the blistering wind forcing us from our football fields, our playgrounds and our above ground post-Trump nuclear war bunkers to the safety and warmth of the indoors.
And where are there many homes that feature interior walls that block gusts of wind? Why yes, Lancaster Pennsylvania!
Known world-round for playing home to the Amish, sprawling farms and other things that I just can’t think of r...
Ryan Woerner By The Numbers
I tracked my life in a series of numbers for 182 consecutive days. I learned very little about myself, but I did get a feature-length blog post out of it.
“FWD:"
Delete.
Delete.
Delete.
Del–uhh, mark as unread. Probably should open that one later, thought Lawrence.
At age 27 in calendar year 2019, the only people that still communicated via email with any sense of meaningful importance in Lawrence’s life were his co-workers, the utility companies that provided gas and sweet sweet electricity to his apartment, and Amazon – to provide order receipts. Most of these were promptly deleted, with the exception of those coming from his co-workers, which were ...